Well it is day one of preseason and I have to say that last night I had a bit of paralysis by analysis. I was engulfed by so many emotions. The two that stood out were the fear of failure and the determination that I would succeed. It was like a roller coaster in my mind. I mentioned it to my husband and he said "Don't think about it JUST DO IT". It's so funny as he didn't even know that that is Mish's saying - JFDI.
But truly it made me realise that even though I was totally planned, exercise and meal schedule done, blog started etc, my mind was still able to let me down. Ugh. I guess the reasons I have not succeeded before is because I didn't follow through with all the mindset lessons Mish sets out. I am still not facing up to my inner demons. It is my biggest problem. Deep down I know I can do it, it really is just science, but I still second guess myself, I don't have control of the psychology of it all. So I am going to do a schedule for when I will give myself time to deal with these issues, and blog my outcomes. Gosh that is so scary for me to state as that means I have to come through and be honest, open and brave and air out all my skeletons. Ugh.
On a good note I got up early and exercised this morning, yay. Pity my HRM died in the middle of it so I don't know how many calories I burned. Time to get a new battery. I am feeling good today. I have done my introduction on the forums, as well as the 15-30kg forum, followed my meal plan and exercised. My journey has started.. Now I just have to keep doing that everyday. But as my husband and Mish say, don't think about it JFDI.
Well I'm looking forward to meeting you all on the forums or feel free to say hi here.
All the best,
Kaz :) xo
Hi ! Told ya I would be checking out your journey ! Did I tell you how at the end of Week 3 last 12 WBT round was up at Mission Beach, had just done a workout with my husband , was holidaying with other very slim fit , very organised /in control of their lives women and totally lost it on the beach during the workout. My poor husband watched in astonishment as I had a massive 2 year old tantrum / melt down on the beach - I ended up spending at least a good hour sitting on the beach bawling my eyes out , feeling terrible, guilty , angry and sad and pathetic and like I was really at a loss . It felt awful really really awful ... then the next morning I woke up and thought right you hit your lowest it is only up from here ! The thing I learnt that began that day but then slowly revealed itself to me over the following weeks after that is that being patient and gentle with yourself on this journey is just as important as being firm with yourself about JFDI - trust yourself and all good things will come from there. All that you need is inside of you ! KS Townsville 12 WBT PS - Great work starting on the exercise program !
ReplyDeleteHi KS, Thankyou for your comment, it was very open and honest. You made me want to cry with you. I'm glad that you drew something from your experience. Yes I really need to remind myself about what you said about being gently with yourself. I am very critical and hard on myself and it is a learning curve to be able to give myself some compassion. Thankyou :) Kaz xo
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm happy to have you on my journey :)
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